Why You Lose When You Compare Yourself to Others & How to STOP

It’s tempting isn’t it? Looking at someone and wondering just how well you measure up to them. Hair, appearance, size, position, talent, wealth, education, intellect, athletic prowess, people skills. The list is deep and it also goes wide. There’s no end when comparing yourself to the girl or guy next door. And if you do, let me tell you, you lose! Read on and I’ll explain. I’ll also show you how you can STOP comparing yourself to others. Let’s go!

When Walt Disney was a young school boy, his teacher saw him drawing pictures of flowers. She said, “They’re very nice Walter but don’t you know, flowers don’t have faces.” He looked up and said, “Mine do.” I love that! Even as a small boy, Walt Disney had the guts to stick up for who he was. He was true to himself. He did his own thing. And that’s probably one

of the reasons why he was so successful. He didn’t let anybody cramp his style.

Oh, but you do let people cramp your style, don’t you? I betcha just recently you were feeling pressured or feeling badly about yourself because you were not like someone else. You were deciding you don’t fit someone else’s image of who you should be. Have I got your number?

When you do either of these two things above, you miss out on who YOU are supposed to be! And that is so dangerous because you get the WRONG IDEA of who you’re supposed to be. You become confused and don’t know who you are.

When you compare yourself to others you get the wrong idea of who you’re supposed to be. You become confused and don’t know who you are.

There’s a story about a farm boy that I read in one of Chuck Swindoll’s books, who found an eagle’s nest with an egg in it. He took the egg from the nest, and when he got home, he put it under a hen along with her other eggs.

Since the eagle’s egg hatched among chicks, the eagle thought he was a chicken. He learned chicken behavior from his “mother” and scratched in the chicken yard along with his “siblings”. He didn’t know any better. And when he sometimes felt strange stirrings within him, thoughts, like hmm, “I think I walk a little different from the rest of the crowd,” or “I seem to have longer wings than everybody else” – he ignored those thoughts. When he began to realize he had different qualities and was different from the rest, he buried those thoughts too. After all, when he looked around him all he saw were chickens, so he thought he must behave like a chicken. Talk about pressure!

But then one day an eagle flew over the farm. The chicken yard eagle looked up and saw him. In that moment, he realized he had the same kind of stuff that that eagle did. He wanted to fly high. He wanted to go to the mountain peaks he saw in the distance. So he spread his wings, which were much larger and stronger than those of his siblings. Suddenly he understood that he was different. He was an eagle. He was meant to fly.

Though he had never flown before, he possessed the instinct and the capabilities. He spread his wings once more and he took off. He soared high…because he stopped looking around him. He finally discovered his true self.

How sad it would have been for him to continue comparing himself to the other chickens, never measuring up. And why would that be sad?

Because he wasn’t a chicken. He could never measure up and wasn’t supposed to!

He couldn’t walk like the chickens, he couldn’t cluck like the chickens. Hello? It’s because he wasn’t a chicken! And that could have left him down and discouraged thinking he wasn’t good enough.

You may be going through life comparing yourself to others. You’re feeling worthless and not good enough because you don’t walk like others, talk like others, and do things like others. Look, you’re not supposed to be like others.

You can’t fly like an eagle if your stuck on the ground trying to be like the other chickens! So, here’s how to get off the ground:

1. Make a List of Your Greatest Attributes & Abilities

This may sound silly, even cocky if you don’t know where I’m coming from with this, but reserve judgment till you get what I’m about to share with you. I remember driving down the road when I was 16 years old, listing all of my greatness. Now, don’t let that fool you. I wasn’t conceited or stuck on myself or anything like that. After giving myself a honest evaluation, I made a mental list of my good stuff. Great stuff. Because inside of everyone of us is great stuff. God made us with great stuff. You have greatness in you just like I do. You just have to see it. And when you do, you can make a list of your greatness too!

2. When you come up against thoughts of comparing – knock em down!

Resist the urge to measure yourself up against someone you see or that comes to mind. If you encounter Carey, an acquaintance in the shoe department at Macy’s, quit inspecting her outfit and trying to discover if those shoes are real Gucci stilettos. If they are, so what? You have bigger fish in your own frying pan. Look deep. Greatness is there. If you walk by Bill in the break room, don’t think, “If I were only as tall as him.” Stop it! Don’t let your mind go there! Let it go here: back to your list of your Greatest Attributes & Abilities. 

Focus on your Greatness. Soon you will see you have no reason to compare.

The more you see the great attributes and abilities that God has built into you, the less you will have need to measure them against someone elses.

Galations 6:4 says this:

“Let everyone be sure that he is doing his very best, for then he will have the personal satisfaction of work well done, and won’t need to compare himself with someone else.”

List your greatness and you’ll no longer need to compare! 

Did this hit home with you? Do you have any input or advice to add? Leave a reply. Thanks!

If you enjoyed this post, check out some related posts by clicking on this link: Are You Weird in a Good Way?

One Thing You Need to Stay Thankful ALL the Time
Even though there are so many blessings around me that I can’t count them all, my eyes are sometimes blinded to them because I choose to focus on my difficulties. So if you’re in any way like me and you sometimes find it challenging to STAY thankful  ALL the time, let me share one thing that you need. It helps me stay grateful and I know It will help you too.

I had an ear-accident a couple of months ago that has left me with nerve damage and a constant static sound in my right ear. I have my own little white noise maker that never shuts off. It’s like 24/7 radio static. It has made it more difficult to have conversations with my husband and kids. It’s made it a bit tougher to talk with others in a group. Sadly, background noise kills any desire I have to tune into a particular person when they are speaking.

I was hoping and trusting that this would be temporary. I saw a specialist and I underwent steroid treatments to restore the damage. No improvement as of yet. Do I still hope? Yes. Do I still have to deal with diminished hearing and constant buzzing in my ear? Yes. And I will be flat out honest with you, it is sometimes a challenge to see the other blessings that I enjoy in sight of a constant and ever present hearing challenge. So what am I doing to remain thankful? What are you doing to remain thankful even though you too, are enduring challenges that haven’t let up?

Get Out Your Thanksgiving-Detector

One thing you and I must do: Be intentional about finding something worthy of our thanks. I call this

“intentional searching”. You and I need to get our thanksgiving-detectors out and start searching. Just like those folks searching for treasure on a beach with a metal detector, we must be constantly searching for reasons to be thankful. And I probably don’t need to tell you, it may take awhile. Pushing through the sand and looking inspect-fully over your terrain takes determination. It takes intentionally reminding yourself of what you have in light of what you don’t.

Regardless of what you have lost or what you don’t yet have, if you are a believer in Christ, that’s enough to be thankful. It amazes me that I sometimes have to remind myself how good I have it with Christ in my life. What’s more amazing and sometimes shameful, is that I have to remind myself that Christ saved me. Christ and the gift of salvation, is MORE THAN ENOUGH to make us thankful. Sadly, that is what we forget most often.

Blinded by Difficult Stuff

It’s a chronic condition. Blinded by what we have or blinded by what we don’t have can become our focus. So, take this challenge with me this Thanksgiving season and let it become the way you do life even after the holidays. Let’s (that’s you and I), be intentional about searching for our thanks.
If we don’t search for our thanks we will get swallowed up in ungratefulness.  It’s so easy to do. Remove the blinders. Be intentional. Search for your thanks.  The Psalmist was onto something when he sang to God, “I enter your courts with thanksgiving.” This means that he choose to be thankful even before he got into God’s presence. Before he was face to face with God, and before he said anything, he already had things on his mind that made him thankful.

Before you go to church this week
… before you even arrive and step foot in the door, put things in your mind that bring a sense of thankfulness into your being.

Or how about this, before you enter God’s presence in your quiet place, or before you utter one word to Him as you rise, picture items, relationships, circumstances, events, etc. that you are grateful for. When you do, your thanksgiving-detector will make a crazy sound that reaches the heavens as you reach
for your thanks!

If you need a little help, I found a nifty website that talks about all kinds of awesome stuff to be thankful for, check it out: 1000 Awesome Things.
And here’s a blog article from my archives that may help you find your thanks: It will rip you out of a bad mood!
You can also whisper this prayer that will get you going on your thanksgiving search:
“God, I know you have done so much for me that I can’t even list it all. When I am tempted to focus on my difficulties and challenges, turn my thoughts around. Help me to search for and draw thanksgiving out of my present condition and circumstances. Help me to reach down into the secret places of my heart so I can offer genuine thanksgiving to you. I live to give you praise. Everyday, I will find something to be thankful for.”
How do you find your thanks? Share it with us by clicking on the comment section. THANKS! 🙂

13 Guaranteed Ways to Make Yourself Sad

  1. Think about what you don’t have.
  2. Focus on what someone didn’t do for you.
  3. Think about what other’s have that you don’t.
  4. Compare yourself to others.
  5. Replay stupid things you’ve done over and over again in your mind.
  6. Stay angry.
  7. Sulk about how unfair life is.
  8. Refuse to forgive.
  9. Complain.
  10. Complain some more.
  11. Continue to review your hurts over and over again.
  12. Beat yourself up.
  13. Think about how miserable you are.

Proverbs 13:12 says,

Hope deferred makes the heart sick.

If you’re deferring hope (which is exactly what you’re doing when you engage in any of the above activities), you’re doing exactly what the Bible tells you to do to be sad. Congrats!

You CAN think yourself sad. Go for it. It will work for you.

Then when you’re sick of being sad…click on this link to read a great post:  4 Bad Mood Busters 

Or watch this video if you really want to know how to be happy. Click here:  How to be Happy When Life Bites!!

Got any other ways you use to become sad? Leave us your list by clicking “comments” at the top. Thanks for your input!