What a JERK!!! It’s not fair…being wronged, being treated unkindly. Ripped off. Ripped up. Your dignity stripped away. Yep, that’s you there getting the royal treatment from a first class jerk.

Now what? Take a deep breath. Help is on the way. I’m going to show you how to handle the jerks in your life and get your sweet revenge too!

1st Step: Measure It

Measure what they took from you. Measure?! Yes, figure out how much they stole from you. Was it your reputation? How much? Was it your spot in line? How much longer did you then have to wait? Was it money? How long will it take for you to make that amount up? Was it an idea they took credit for? How much effort will it take to come up with something new and just as brilliant? What was it? Figure out what you lost, because they OWE YOU big time!

2nd Step: Cancel It

Knowing exactly what you lost…let it go. Huh?! Yes, release it. It’s gone anyway. Now you need to accept that it is gone and it can’t be replaced. Even if they tried to make it up to you, it will never be replaced with the same exact thing. So what choice do you have? They incurred a debt with you. One they will never be able to repay. So your only option is to cancel the debt. This is called forgiveness. Yes, it’s the hardest on the list. But the most important. Forgiving gives you the freedom to move on. Don’t let the jerk keep you tied up. Let em loose! Don’t be bound; you have places to go and things to do!

3rd Step: Get Praying

Pray for the jerk. Yuck! I know, I don’t like praying for people who mess with me either. I don’t want to pray for the jerks in my life because that will help them, and heck, even bless them. Why would I want to be good to someone who messed with me? Consider this little known secret: it empowers you to make a difference in their life. You get to be their game-changer. Didn’t know you were signing up for that, did ya? You can actually be the one to jerk them out of jerk mode! Get praying.

4th Step: Give Love

Love the jerk. Excuse me?! Hard to swallow, huh? But look, there’s something in it for you. God says over and over again that if you’re really mature, you will love everyone unconditionally. Now here’s the rub – unconditionally means even when they screw you over. Having a jerk is the only way to see if you have love. You love them when they are unlovable. Yes, I know, sounds like you are getting the shaft again. But passing the love test makes you more like Christ. And looking more like Christ means you’re going to receive the blessings He’s got for you. That would involve a crown, a mansion, and tons of cool stuff here on earth. I’d say loving the jerk is worth it, wouldn’t you? Love the jerk; it does you good!

5th Step: Look Good

With your eyes, get searching for some good in the jerk. Now, it’s going to take a willingness to accept that this person has some good. And ahhhh, that’s tough. You are so focused on their ugly spot, you convince yourself there are no beauty spots. Look hard my friend. You did? Look again. The beauty is there, it just takes a willing eye. Once you find it, thank God for it. I’m sure you’re wondering, ” Are you outta your mind!?” Try it, it will put you in a better mood. There’s no way you can stay mad when you are grateful.

6th Step: Shut Up

Refuse to talk badly about them. I know you really want to rake them over the coals. And yes, it seems the whole world needs to know about their jerky side. But there is an advantage to controlling your tongue. When you speak poorly of others, subconsciously people think bad of you. Negative tongue wagging lands you in a sad category according to others. Think about it, it’s true. Let it not be you!

7th Step: Pay Back

REVENGE! Now we’re talking! But here’s what you need to know: You probably can’t do as good a job at stickin it back to them as God can, so why not let God do it? He’ll blow you away with His masterfully crafted plan to make them reap what they sow. Romans 12:19 says, “Dear friends, never take revenge. Leave that to the righteous anger of God. For the Scriptures say,“I will take revenge; I will pay them back,”says the Lord.”

So, leave it to God, He always does a better job at pay-backs than you do, and it’s less work for you. You’ve got a guaranteed win-win here. Go get a Starbucks and prop your feet up. Let God give the hit and watch the jerk squirm, sweet deal, eh?!

There you go. You’ve learned how to handle the jerks in your life. If you pull this off, you will see that having a jerk in your life can really benefit you indeed!

Let me know if this helps. Comment below!


A Surefire Way to Know If Your Steps are REALLY Ordered by God
Have you heard someone declare that their day went exactly the way God wanted it to go because their steps are ordered of the Lord?! That’s a great thought, but do you ACTUALLY believe that we make the right decisions 100% of the time? I’m sure even those with the greatest intentions blow it a few times a day, if not more.

It cracks me up when friends say, “I didn’t expect my day to turn out like that, but it must have been meant to be.” Well, how do you know it was meant to be? Is every decision we make “meant to be”? Nope! Especially in hind sight realizing we screwed up. Just because your day went a certain way doesn’t mean it was meant to go that way! But how would you know?

Take for example, the choice to wait and hold the door open for someone instead of running full speed ahead to your car because you are late for an appointment. Or making that split second decision to take a call that comes in rather than continuing the conversation you’re having with your child. Who’s to say which was the path God ordered and which was you-ordered? Do your secret ambitions and motives play a part? Hmm. Do your hidden fears and insecurities subconsciously sway every decision you make? Yep. Does your selfishness ever get in the way from doing something that God wanted you to do? Yep again!

Look, if you are a believer, God definitely says He will order your steps. It’s a done deal. But if you don’t follow His orders, well then, you won’t be following His steps. It’s not rocket science.

We have all experienced a parent or guardian giving us direction or orders, right? Are you beginning to cringe as you think back to childhood? Remember the orders: “Go clean your room.”, “Take out the trash.”, “Make your bed.” I wonder, did you always choose obedience in following those orders? I’m guessing there were days you didn’t do as ordered. Me too! I was given orders but sometimes failed to carry them out. And then there were times direction was given but I chose to do my own thing. Same with God, He orders our steps, but that doesn’t mean we are following His orders.

As I started writing this article my iPad 2, which I am typing on, was in perfect condition. Just 2 weeks old, I had been handling it with kid gloves and taking especially good care of it. I decided to take a break and refill my coffee cup. Putting my new iPad 2 on the table beside me, I started into the house. Seconds later I heard a crash. Oh my gosh, NOOOO-OOOO!!! I ran out to the porch…and yes, I found my iPad 2 face down on the hard concrete.

Before I picked it up I said a prayer, “PLEEEEZZZZE GOD, NO DAMAGE, NO CRACKED SCREEN…” I slowly picked it up and turned it over. My heart sank. The corner was dented, the screen cracked, and I felt weak all over. All I could say was, “God?!!” Like, why? How come? Then I took a breath and thought, how stupid! How dumb of me to lay it on the table on top of my Kindle. It must have been sitting at a slight incline and within 20 seconds it slid right off the table.

So right now, as I type away on my cracked iPad screen, I’m wondering, did God really order my steps this morning? Of course He did. Did He mean for my iPad screen to crack? I don’t know. I may never know. Maybe He did. Maybe He didn’t! I do know He will turn it around for good, but that doesn’t necessarily mean He intended for it to happen.

Before I started my day, I asked for His wisdom to lead me. Before I began my tasks I asked for His direction. He seemed to be leading me. I truely believe He was. But did I make a mistake? Was my jugement clouded when I laid my iPad 2 down on top of a surface at an unseen angle? So, could that have been a step I took that God didn’t order? Probably. I may never know.

See, the decision I made not only broke my heart for a moment, it also caused me pain and a lot of other things. It will cost me time to get it repaired and it will probably cost me money. I would like to think God didn’t plan that for me because I walk in favor, right? Yes. But I know a scripture too, that says the rain falls on the just and the unjust. Even God’s children deal with disappointment and problems.

So what is a God fearing person to do to ensure their steps are in step with God’s?
Here’s what it takes:
Ask God to help you not only hear His orders, but to also help you FOLLOW His orders.
And know, even if you mess up, He’ll still be around. Look at what He promises you…

Psalms 37:23-24
23 The Lord directs the steps of the godly.
He delights in every detail of their lives.
24 Though they stumble, they will never fall,
for the Lord holds them by the hand.

So here’s the plan – ask God to reveal His orders to you each day. Do the best you can to follow them – and most likely your steps will be the right ones!

By the way, remember my cracked iPad screen? God turned my mistake around by giving me favor…my iPad was replaced at no cost! Thank you Apple and thank you God!!

I’d love to hear your thoughts about this. Leave your comments below.


If You Want to Feel Better – Go Ahead, Cry! Feel the Pain!
If You Want to Feel Better – Go Ahead, Cry! Feel the Pain!
by Linda Travelute, Ph.D.

“Do I have to be strong when I hurt so much?” This is a common question when someone has endured a traumatic situation or has just lost a loved one.

Finding the courage to be strong when your world has been blown apart seems like a great idea. There’s such a temptation to be a rock and hold back the tears. That’s the noble, nice thing to do. After all, it would make it easier on your family and loved ones. They wouldn’t see you in pain and then they wouldn’t feel as bad as they try to sympathize and comfort you. Actually, it seems like a grand idea to just ignore the sting of hurt or loss hoping it just might go away. Wrong! You can push away the pain and pretend it doesn’t hurt but doing so will endanger your health and your emotional well-being.

God was so smart creating us with the ability to cry. Crying is a valve that releases pain. When tears flow harmful toxins in our bodies are able to escape. Have you noticed that after a good cry you feel so much better? That’s because you’ve let some of the junk seep out. Yes, you may feel tired and drained from sobbing and weeping but no doubt you feel relieved.

Think back. Maybe as a kid, you had a crying spell and a parent or grown up looked at you and said: “Stop crying!” Yes, they meant well, but that’s why there are people who do not know how to release their emotions. Those words come back to haunt them the moment they feel a tear form in the corner of their eye. They shut it down. And as result, shut down a way that God gave us to heal the pain.

I say…”Go ahead and cry!” When I officiate a funeral one of the first things I do is gather the grieving family and loved ones together and let them know it’s ok to cry.  I even ask them to give each other permission to cry. When people in my office start to cry I don’t rush to hand them a tissue. Some may think this is rude, but usually when you hand someone a tissue, they take it as a signal to stop crying. I’ll let people get a good sob going before I hand them a tissue to wipe their face. I want them to cry and feel the tears trickle down their cheeks.

One reason we don’t like to see people cry is because it makes us feel bad. One day my youngest child, Tiffany, was boo hooing over a situation. She was really going at it, holding nothing back. My oldest child, Tyler, tried to comfort her. Yet he secretly had an ulterior motive. His desire was for her to stop her tears. I said, “Tyler, it’s ok for her to cry; she feels bad right now.” He responded, “I don’t like it when she cries because it makes me sad.” There it is! That’s why we don’t want people crying in our presence. Because it causes us discomfort. We would rather cheer people up and brighten their day and ours. What this does though, is deny the hurt person the opportunity to feel and get over their pain. That’s why the Bible says, “Don’t sing songs to a heavy heart.” Forget trying to cheer them up; it won’t make the pain go away. Contrary to what we believe, it can cause them to bury it. God wants them to release their tears which will help restore their torn lives.

No, you don’t have to be strong when you’re in pain. Neither do I. Let’s get comfortable allowing people to cry in our presence and even get to the place where we will allow ourselves to cry in the presence of others. It’s a great gift we can give ourselves and those we love. Let’s go ahead and cry. It will do our bodies good!


It Doesn’t Matter How Deep the Water is if You Know How to Swim
Do you remember your first time experiencing the deep end of the pool? Yeah, this is where your feet don’t touch and if you’re not an experienced swimmer, you might think, “Whoa, I’m in over my head here.”

I taught my daughter, Tiffany, when she was just 3-years-old to swim in the deep end of the pool.  I told her that if she could swim in the shallow end without her feet touching she could also swim in the deep end. There’s no difference.

Can you swim in a 6-8 foot swimming pool? Just wondering, because, if I took you to the middle of the ocean and dropped you in depths of a few hundred feet – I betcha you could still swim! There’s no difference. It doesn’t matter how deep the water is – if you know how to swim.

Is it scarier out there? Yes. Darker? Yes. But, it doesn’t matter how deep the water is if you know how to swim.

Maybe you are going through some deep issues in life.  Tough stuff, bigger than you’ve ever gone through before. As you read this you might have this overwhelming sinking feeling that you are in way too deep. Be encouraged and remember: It doesn’t matter how deep the water is if you know how to swim.

There’s a cool scripture in Isaiah 43:2 (NLT) that goes like this:

“When you go through deep waters, I will be with you.  When you go through rivers of difficulty, you will not drown.”

I’ve heard people say, “I don’t know if I could ever handle the death of one of my children or being diagnosed with an incurable disease or walking into the house to find my spouse hanging from a noose.  I don’t think I could handle…this or that. Yes, you could handle it, because it doesn’t matter how deep the water is if you know how to swim.

A child stood in front of his classroom to make a speech entitled, “What I want to be when I grow up.” He said, “I’m going to be a lion tamer in the circus.  I will have lots of fierce lions. I will walk into the cage and they will roar! I will use the whip to control them.” He paused for a moment, thinking through what he had just said.  And then added, “But of course, I’ll have my daddy with me!”

That’s the key. You CAN swim IF your heavenly Father is with you. Just reach out. Haven’t done that in a while? Forgotten how? Little timid? Go ahead, ask for his help.

The Lord says, “I will rescue those who love me. I will protect those who trust in my name. When they call on me, I will answer: I will be with them in trouble. I will rescue and honor them. I will reward them with a long life and give them my salvation.” Psalm 91:14-16. (NLT)

You’ll find he’s right there in the deep end with ya. Don’t let the depth of the water scare you. You can handle a lot more than you think you can. It doesn’t matter how deep the water is if you know how to swim.